I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
