the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
