she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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