Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
two words: eviction party
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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