after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize