Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
