at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
