So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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