3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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