I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize