Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
