But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
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the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
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Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you