RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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