I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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