I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.