she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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