The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
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