I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
