You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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