there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
