wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
