We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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