ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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