Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
