he puts the penis in happiness.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
How does one acquire holy water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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