508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
