What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
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