I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again