We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
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He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
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My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.