Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
