The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron