Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
