Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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