He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The feeling are messing with the penis
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
