Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
