If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize