My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
