Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
