Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
