I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Someone came in the potted fern
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
