I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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