How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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