I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
