VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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