omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
