no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
