Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
