I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
