THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
