found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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