Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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