allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
