she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
