Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
