I must be too annoying 4 u.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
