is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
