i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
