He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize
