No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
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