i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
