So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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