I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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