a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
