Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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