is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just googled if crying burns calories
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
