I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Congratulations! We have a period
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