I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
