i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
